The anti-anxiety pills the doctor gave me are super strong, but even they aren’t keeping me in bed at night.
Instead of waking up and remembering all of the crazy things I’ve been doing, like taking various bottles out of the refrigerator and lining them up on the counter at 3AM, I just have brief flashes of activity that I don’t recall until the sun rises and I have to go to work.
I’m glad I’m not sharing my room with anyone, because every morning I wake up to a different layout. My bed has moved over a few feet, or there are new posters on the wall, or my clothes are neatly folded up in piles on the floor. I’m not just sleep walking, I’m totally sleep living, and it’s really creeping me out.
What’s more, I’m barely aware of my surroundings at work – today I burned myself twice, once on the espresso machine, and another time I poured hot milk into an invisible cup (that is, a few fingers on my left hand). The damage wasn’t awful, but I’m still smarting from a few blisters as I type this.
I heard that there was some sort of sleep disorders clinic on campus – a while back I saw someone at BART handing out fliers, but I threw it out as soon as I approached the recycling bin past the fare gates. I don’t know if they’re open during the summer, or if the studies are still active, but at this point I really need some help.
Oh yeah – I got my test results back. The blood work and everything was normal enough, but my platelet levels were unusually low. I’m not sure what that means, but Google doesn’t like it all that much. They also recommended that I take a multivitamin, since some of my cereal box statistics seemed off – you know, all of the things the sides of boxes say I’m supposed to have 100% of each day? Maybe I should be waking up at night and sleep eating more bowls of high fiber raisin bran.
Really though, it’s not funny at all. My roommates are now officially pissed off, because I’m starting to wander around the living room and move things. At least I haven’t tried to enter their rooms during my night journeys, or boot up the PS3 to download and play the latest demos and trailers from E3 – that really wouldn’t go over well.
Also, I’m noticing more hair in the shower drain, and I have this rash on the back of my right arm – it appears when I wear anything long sleeve for more than a few minutes. When I write things down like this they seem far worse than they are…. or is that far better? I haven’t decided yet – maybe I’ll do some web browsing while I sleep for more research.
I wish I had some extra cash so I could trade penny stocks or gold futures while I was asleep. Maybe I could eBay all of the clothes I’m folding up, and have them ready in Priority Mail boxes each morning. I’m trying to make the best of this, but I’m tired enough that every thought is coming out half-delirious, like when you intentionally stay up all night studying, and then start talking to random strangers about macroeconomics or colony collapse disorder.
These finger blisters are evil, even behind my super cheap Dollar Tree bandages. I’m sorry – I’ll have to write more later. Wish me luck while I go out for some night cycling – hopefully I can wear myself out enough to get some unfussy rest.