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Memory Problems

Rejecting The Anti-Drama Pills

I hate Kaiser so much!

I spent half of Friday down there, sitting around the hospital waiting for appointments, then sitting in the lab waiting for blood and urine tests, then waiting in the pharmacy for pills I didn’t even want.

My “doctor” listened to my highly censored story, about how my memory was “fuzzy” lately, and I was having a constant sense of deja vu. He then strongly suggested that I was just stressed out due to the semester that just ended, and said that some anti-anxiety meds would make it all go away. I had to raise my voice before he agreed to at least do a complete workup, just to make sure nothing weird was showing up in my blood or whatever.

I hate shots. I don’t mind looking at them poke me, but I just don’t want to be invaded like that. Dentist shots are even worse, since I can’t even see when my cheeks are going to be hit.

Anyway, that killed the whole day, so I just came back home on BART and played more Catherine on my PS3. I’m still pissed off that the PSN isn’t fully back up yet – I want to get at the store and download that new Arcana Heart game, since I live and die for cute fighters. I also watched more than my fair share of Parking Wars via Netflix this holiday weekend – I could feel for all of the people who had no idea why they were getting in trouble, even though red, bold face signs were all around them everywhere.

That’s the thing. Apparently, from my blog over the past few months, I knew that something awful was happening. That is, if I can even believe that I even wrote it. The problem right now is that I’ve found certain bits of evidence that suggest there’s truth in there. For example, via Google I found random pictures of the Die Database Street Team from the past few months. I wasn’t in them, but there were definitely DD hats and shirts and the whole thing. So, I know that something was up – I just have to find a way to get in contact with those people.

The other thing that’s bothering me is that I don’t know if I should contact the “people” behind all of the weird blogs that are linked from mine. I mean, what the fuck is “Operation Bloggyblog”? I’m particularly hesitant to contact Ai – apparently she’s in Berkeley somewhere, and the last thing I need is more drama. Well, it’s not like I don’t have a new prescription for anti-drama pills, but you know what I mean.

I already feel like my whole summer is shot. Something is seriously wrong with my brain, and the last thing I want is to go home and try to hide my discomfort from my parents. So, I’m putting off the requisite trip back as long as possible. Maybe whatever blood clot or pizza fragment that hit me in the brain will pass on its own, so I can get back to, well, just the perfectly non-formed un-structure of summer.

I have to go back to work tomorrow – I can’t convince them that I have the flu any longer. What’s the opposite of a secret admirer? A secret stalkee? Whatever – I do hope he comes in again this week. I just don’t know if he already left town for the summer – that would totally bum me out if he did.

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Operation Bloggyblog

Karmic Freedom All Hail The Fan Ghosts Cosmic Individualities Point Zero
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